how is grief categorized who decides when and where and why things should be memorialized? where is the box for the mundane relentless little daily attacks
like when I realize that the laundry detergent bought last when you were alive is nearly gone, shampoos I bought for you to try, ibuprofen bottle finally empty, no one else is using up the wash clothes. i'm doing laundry just for me, and it's stupid. what I am going to do with all these towels?
how I am supposed to remember what spices we have in the kitchen, when I can't text you about them? who else thinks about Hilary McKay when saying 'cardamom' even though that's not right, Cause Caddie was named after cadmium, not a spice
all these library books, on the side table, taking up space like always, you never complained, who I am supposed to talk to about them now?
the frozen dinners we would split on hard nights, are simply there now, leaving me half to take to work the next day convenient, sure.
oh but I would give that convenience up, just to have you back in the world again.
let us split half a pizza and watch some tv together before we have to get up and face the world again
I could bear anything, when you were here.